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As I walked home tonight, I was thinking about what to say. Ch 2 and 3 brought up some dark stuff for me.
Quick note on the Bluebeard thing: Does anyone out there remember the scene in "9 1/2 Weeks" where the guy phones the woman who's in his apt. alone and asks her if she's been a "nosy parker"? He wants to know if she's gone through his stuff while he's been gone. She says no - but when he comes home he punishes her - by raping her.
This came up for me while reading Ch 2. Also, my evil ex came up. He seemed like an ok person - an AIDS activist, and good looking. But then as I got to know him, I realized that he had misdirected anger that he let out at protests - and that he would eventually let out at me. Everyone else around me - even my parents - seemed to think he was good for me. They even bought us furniture for our apt.
It's kind of reversed - everyone got fooled and remained fooled by him, except for me. Then I saw my escape and moved out - 6 months later. I am still haunted by him. Whenever I see someone who vaguely looks like my ex, I shiver.
Ch 3 - I just read this line "In her guts a woman knows there is a deadliness in being the too-sweet self for too long." I was the too sweet perfect daughter with good grades and always behaved well. When I decided to be who I really was - and was honest with my parents because I thought it was the right thing to do, they disowned me. But I had my integrity above all else.
When I grew a backbone and stood up for who I was, what I believed in, I became the prodigal daughter. I was the black sheep. My brother became the good son with the normal life when he was once the screwup. We switched places. He probably resented me for a long time because everyone had always compared him to me. I suppose he must have been relieved. I don't resent him now. I think he deserves to get the attention and the spotlight.
Vasalisa reminds me so much of Cinderella - I don't know if Estes mentions that in this chapter. When Cinderella decides to come into her own - to become who she truly is - she is laughed at by her evil stepmother and sisters. The glass slipper is so much more than that which leads her to the Prince's heart - it is the key to her freedom. It is like Vasalisa's torch, which will guide her through the darkness.
One more thing about intuition - i always used to second guess myself but once I knew I was doing the right thing for me, it became a lot easier to trust it. I'm still in the learning process of this.
Quick note on the Bluebeard thing: Does anyone out there remember the scene in "9 1/2 Weeks" where the guy phones the woman who's in his apt. alone and asks her if she's been a "nosy parker"? He wants to know if she's gone through his stuff while he's been gone. She says no - but when he comes home he punishes her - by raping her.
This came up for me while reading Ch 2. Also, my evil ex came up. He seemed like an ok person - an AIDS activist, and good looking. But then as I got to know him, I realized that he had misdirected anger that he let out at protests - and that he would eventually let out at me. Everyone else around me - even my parents - seemed to think he was good for me. They even bought us furniture for our apt.
It's kind of reversed - everyone got fooled and remained fooled by him, except for me. Then I saw my escape and moved out - 6 months later. I am still haunted by him. Whenever I see someone who vaguely looks like my ex, I shiver.
Ch 3 - I just read this line "In her guts a woman knows there is a deadliness in being the too-sweet self for too long." I was the too sweet perfect daughter with good grades and always behaved well. When I decided to be who I really was - and was honest with my parents because I thought it was the right thing to do, they disowned me. But I had my integrity above all else.
When I grew a backbone and stood up for who I was, what I believed in, I became the prodigal daughter. I was the black sheep. My brother became the good son with the normal life when he was once the screwup. We switched places. He probably resented me for a long time because everyone had always compared him to me. I suppose he must have been relieved. I don't resent him now. I think he deserves to get the attention and the spotlight.
Vasalisa reminds me so much of Cinderella - I don't know if Estes mentions that in this chapter. When Cinderella decides to come into her own - to become who she truly is - she is laughed at by her evil stepmother and sisters. The glass slipper is so much more than that which leads her to the Prince's heart - it is the key to her freedom. It is like Vasalisa's torch, which will guide her through the darkness.
One more thing about intuition - i always used to second guess myself but once I knew I was doing the right thing for me, it became a lot easier to trust it. I'm still in the learning process of this.
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From:
no subject
I have always loved Vaselisa. She's such a wonderful, strong fairy tale heroine, unlike a lot of them. She doesn't sit around waiting for any darn Prince. She walks bravely into the dark wood to go see her scary Grandmother, successfully gets through that encounter, makes her way home and after the destruction of her evil stepmother and stepsisters, brings herself to the attention of the prince by being industrious and a shrewd businesswoman. She rocks. :)
I'm increasingly curious about the book you are reading, based on your review bits.
From:
yeah, the book is really good
And yes, Vasalisa does indeed rock :)
Thanks catling!
From:
no subject
I don't know the book you are reading, but I am curious.
And I do remember that scene. I remember the whole movie quite well. It was not unlike watching a train wreck.
I seem to have this thing in my head that makes me want to have someone I can have the trust and the friendship and the romance and the naughty stuff but run like hell when there is even the slightest chance of it, and of course never believe it could be true, that it could actually happen... I really have to get over that! *grin*
From:
Lightbulb
Yeah, that combination of all those things is pretty damn hard to find, but trust me, you can find a lot of it in one person. I found it in my husband (and whatever I didn't, I am free to look for elsewhere). But there is that fear of finding someone wonderful yet never sure if they will turn into a big nasty Bluebeard on you. So, you run - I get that.
I think the idea has definitely been intriguing as well as scary since seeing "9 1/2 weeks" as a teenager. I thought it was really sexy and naughty then but as I got older and watched it again, I understood more about how abusive Mickey Rourke's character really was. Glad I never had anyone like him in my life. I'd be a lot more screwed up.
From:
Re: Lightbulb
Yes, Bluebeard. As I prepare to fly 10,000+ miles to visit a man I honestly hardly know, in a strange country with strange people, I suddenly think, gah, I hope this was a good idea! *grin* Nah, for some reason I trust this one. Maybe it's the happy pills doing their magic, or perhaps he's just a good guy...
As for 9 1/2 Weeks... I've thought basically the same of it, past and present. I wonder, though, how much of my current opinion is due to personal experience, learning that you can't put your faith in everyone you meet. I don't refer specifically to abusive relationships; it could also be realizing you don't like the way a certain group of people treats you, or that some friends just aren't as reliable as you wish they were... such is life, and such is the way you find the good ones. *shrug* :)